Tuesday, 21 June 2011


I guess now you have got this far through my blog you will be wondering how I cope with all of this?!

It has been a long road getting her and an emotional roller coaster! I can't even begin to describe how it has felt!

Ronan Keating once sang "Life is a Rollercoaster" and nothing can be closer to the truth!

Up to a point, I couldn't tell you how I coped because I honestly don't know!! I don't actually know how long I have been depressed for. It's all I remember.

Being bullied at school, incidents at home and then at the work place, I have always had a black dog following me.

Something which troubled me when I really thought about it was when my mum told me; as a child, I would get so frustrated or angry I would go outside and hit my head against the wall! That is self harm!! I knew about this for a long time but I had never figured that that's what it was!!

I would say I have had noticeable depression since I was 13/14. There was an incident that happened that pushed me towards depression and self harming.

Being bullied at school was a horrific experience. I never actually got to the bottom of why I was bullied and if I'm honest, I don't really care any more!

So my coping methods! Well, 3 years ago I discovered Kalms. They're a herbal remedy used for anxiety and stress. Visit the Kalms website here

They worked for me in the short term. I would take 4 where it recommended I take 2.

More recently, I have discovered something else to help keep me on a level.

I have taken to smoking cannabis. This is not something I am particularly proud of. I am aware of the possible side effects from cannabis but I have done my research and since I started smoking, I have been feeling so good!

I know a lot of people have negative images of people who smoke cannabis. I have had the same image myself growing up around stoners. I am NOT a stoner. I don't get stoned and I have never been stoned. I smoke a small amount in the evenings to level me out and also help me sleep. I hate smoking and I know that it's a disgusting and harmful habit but for now, it works!

I am NOT recommending that people use cannabis to help. What I will say is that you don't have to take prescription drugs!

People with mental disorders are at a higher risk of developing schizophrenia from smoking cannabis. It also can make you paranoid. You can find out more information on the effects of cannabis here.

I have considered speaking to my GP about medical marijuana and possibly also writing to my local MP but we will see!!

Keep Smiling :):

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