Tuesday, 12 July 2011

Missing - One Mojo!

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Since getting back from my holiday I've really lost my mojo! I don't know what's happened to it!!

I just don't have the same urge to write as much as I had been! It's so unfair!!

I am also needing more sleep as well at the moment!  I have a bad feeling it's the start of a huge downward spiral. I get like this sometimes when things get massively stressful. The aim of the holiday was to sort me out but we all know that didn't work!

I'm trying to sort out things for university but it seems like I am chasing my tail at the moment. I've been informed that I am not entitled to have my first year paid for since I've already studied at the same level twice before which is ridiculous as I hadn't had these courses paid for! I've also found out that I won't dins out anything about any grants/bursaries available to me until October! It's most annoying!! Just to add to my annoyances, I'm trying to sort out a job so I can work part time and apparently there's no way they can give me any sort of inclination as to what my timetable may be! I asked if they could send me the previous 2/3 years timetables so I could look for the similarities and make some sort of rough estimate but apparently they "can't do that"!

If there's one thing I hate it's uncertainty! I guess that's partly to do with my Bipolar but also partly down to my personality. I like to know what's coming next. I like routine, I thrive on structure!! That's why I had such a wonderful time in the Army! Everything was so structured and rigid! 

When I don't have all of the details I need I feel like I am stuck in some sort of limbo. Swimming through soup or something. It's an awful feeling and it makes me cranky and stressy!! 

I've tried calling people to find out what I need to know but I get fobbed off with "I'm sorry madam but we cannot give you this information".

I guess going on holiday left an opening for a whole load of administration to stack up and it irritates me!! I like all of my emails to be answered on a daily basis and I can't well do that whilst I'm on holiday without spending time in an internet cafe! Much as the pigs I went with were happy enough to do that... I wasn't! I did get the occasional wireless connection at the local gay bar in the evenings but it's difficult to work on my blackberry especially when it's full of sand!! 

So now I'm back home I'm trying to catch up on everything and I'm just getting very irritated!! 

I still love each and every one of my readers and I am always grateful for your patience and faith in me and I am sure once I am back to "normal" I will have either found my mojo or stole someone else's to pass off as my own!! 

In the meantime...

Keep Smiling :):

1 comment:

  1. while I dislike planning, by far preferring to play life by ear I do often find it helps to have at least one ear to do it with. Really irritates me when people or organisations I am forced to rely on refuse to yeild the information I need in order to get shit done.
    It always ends up in the same place, some smug prick sat behind a desk parroting "well you could haves" at me. Well props to you mister 20/20 hindsight, must be nice having all the answers.


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