Friday, 5 August 2011

FINALLY!!

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I finally went to the doctors yesterday!

My partner came with me which made me feel a little better!!

I don't get it when they say your appointment is at x o'clock and you don't get to see anyone until half past x. Do they not realise the effects of that on a person who suffers anxiety?!

If I'm honest, I'm a little frustrated with the whole thing! I have to go see a psychiatrist again and I might have to go to therapy again! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THERAPY!!!

I find that the therapists/psychiatrists/psychologists... whatever you want to call them... they're all the same! They're all suggestive. They try to make you say things you don't mean! They twist your words!




I had another such experience when I was younger with the police. I won't go into too much detail but I was a witness in a very big case and I had to be questioned. I knew what I saw, I knew what I was supposed to be telling them but they seemed to manipulate me and twist my words and essentially ended up writing a statement that could have been considered false!

The doctor recommended medication - of course! She was straight down that line, didn't even give it a moment's thought! Right away she was talking anti-depressants and lithium!

I had stressed that the reason I didn't see a doctor sooner was because I didn't want the meds but she either didn't hear me or simply ignored me!

She then started reeling off information about Bipolar Disorder, as if I don't already know!!

I don't know what it is with doctors, they just reduce everything down and make it seem so insignificant. She'd asked me if I'd been hospitalised and when I said no it was almost like she didn't think I actually had Bipolar Disorder! That's another reason I dislike doctors!! They just want to fill you full of pills and send you on your merry way!!





So, now I have to wait 6-8 weeks for a letter from a psychiatrist! More waiting... more anxiety...!

I'm hoping that the psychiatrist suggests something other than medication I don't want to have to take a whole cocktail of things. Anti-depressants, mood stabilisers, anti-anxiety, sleeping pills... I'm gonna be like a walking pill box and I want to avoid that at all costs!!



Well, it's time to play the waiting game once again... story of my life!!

At least I have a weekend away to... look forward to?!

Keep smiling! :):

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