Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Next step...

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Doctor's appointment today. I finally got my meds switched after 2 months of no progress on Citalopram. Here's hoping these will make a difference.  I have to wean myself off the Citalopram first. I'm not looking forward to the next two weeks really...!!

I have also been told to give CBT a try. I'm simply not ready for psychotherapy at the moment no matter how much the doc insists it will help!! I don't get why she can't understand that, it seems simple to me, I have to be in a good place in my life before I can dive into the depths of my dark and disturbed mind and I'm just not there yet.

I've had a look at the side effects of Mirtazapine and if I'm honest it doesn't sound great! After all, I already have the lucid dreams and the nightmares. I have weight issues too so I'm not happy about that. I guess I will just see how things go.

The last few weeks at uni we have been studying atypical development which has been quite difficult, yesterday's lecture was about depression and the medication used to treat depression and I felt so bad listening to them tell the whole class about how I feel. I know it wasn't aimed at me and very few people know about my problems but I still felt like there was a spotlight on me and my whole experience was being played out on the whiteboard.

I have, however, learned a few interesting things about atypical development and how it affects individuals and it's good to see that how I'm feeling is pretty "normal" in people with these range of issues.

I'm now awaiting a response from my pdoc to see if she will write a letter for me for uni otherwise I won't be able to get help which I think is so unfair! The resources available to us is very limited. If I had a physical ailment it would be different! 

I think today my writing is slightly more coherent. When I read over my last blog it just made no sense to me but I'm glad my readers could decipher it!! 

Keep Smiling!! :): 


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